Jaded Jubilee – June 4th 2012

On the day of HM Queen Elizabeth’s Diamond Jubilee I cycled around Ashton under Lyne.

Recording and commenting upon the material changes which had occurred, during her reign of some sixty years. In turn many of these things have in themselves disappeared from view.

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes.

Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow.

Let reality be reality.

Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.

Lao Tzu

Celebrating the gradual decline in spelling – Gill Scot Heron meets Tameside, everyone’s a winner.

Celebrating the proliferation of California Screen Blocks, hanging baskets and vertical blinds.

Celebrating the Pound Shop a profusion of road markings and pedestrian safety barriers.

Celebrating High Visibilty Workwear and the proliferation of the logotype

Celebrating advances in Information Technology and the decline of the retail sector.

Celebrating advances in fly-posting, street skating, youth culture and musical diversity.

Celebrating the re-use of redundant banks, sun beds, tattooing and t-shirts.

Celebrating advances in charity chop furniture pricing and the proliferation of leather sofas.

Celebrating the proliferation of the shuttered window, babies and home made retail signage.

Celebrating niche marketing in the child-based, haircare market and developments in digitally originated vinyl signage.

Celebrating street art and British popular music and modern cuisine.

Celebrating Punk Rock, wheel clamping and British can-do!

Celebrating the introduction of decimal coinage, raffle tickets, cheap biros, affordable imitation Tupperware, raffles and the Union Flag

Celebrating the huge importance of Association Football, hazard tape, shuttered doors and the ubiquity of the traffic cone.

Celebrating the ever growing popularity of Fancy Dress.

Celebrating pub tiles, the smoking ban, the use of plywood as an acceptable window replacement material and the current confusion regarding Britishness and Englishness.

Celebrating satellite telly, faux Victoriana and the development of the one way traffic system.

Celebrating plastics in the service of the modern citizen.

Celebrating laser-cut vinyl, adhesive lettering, regional cuisine and the imaginative minds of those who name our modern retail outlets.

Celebrating the welcome Americanisation of our youngster’s diet – Slush you couldn’t make it up!

Celebrating the welcome Americanisation of our youngster’s diet – Slush you couldn’t make it up!

Celebrating the return of the £1 pint, here at Oliver’s Bar, formerly The Cavern, a superbly appointed Bass Charrington owned, underground pub. 

My thanks to Emma Noonan for kindly appearing in the doorway.

Celebrating our ever widening range of ethnic cuisine and the use of the ingenious A4 laser-written poster montage.

Celebrating the wide variety of vernacular tribute bands – Reet Hot Chilli Peppers?

Celebrating the ever popular art of colouring-in and the wide availability of the felt tip pen.

Shelters Rhos to Colwyn

I have previously sought succour in your shady shelters, as unrelenting sheets of steel grey rain peppered the wind whipped Irish sea.

A concrete cornucopia of Californian screen block, glass, pebbledash, mosaic and crazy paving.

Municipal modernism under threat as the unstoppable force of coastal improvement lumbers on, a pantechnicon of shiny surfaces, sensitive planting, contemporary seating and laser-cut, contextually appropriate historical panels.

As Hardscape introduces a wholesome dose of CGI style medicine to the promenade

I for one will miss you all when you’re gone.

Next time I pass all this will seem as a dream, a tale told by a fool full of sand and fury signifying nothing.